We are the Turtle class at Montgomery Primary Academy. We will be blogging about all of the interesting things we are learning about this year from school and from home.
If you are reading this from outside the school community, please could you spare a moment to leave the pupils a comment telling them who/where you are, what you are currently doing and what the weather is like where you are?
Mr Fournier and the Turtle class
We have been working on suspense in our writing by using short sentences, repetition, empty words and a lot of dramatic vocabulary.
First we analysed how other authors use these features in their writing.
Now we are going to give it a try ourselves about this haunted house.
As Hamza took a glimpse of a haunted house, he got scared like someone gave him an electric shot. His heart was pounding like a drum. When he got closer he was so frightened. When he got even closer, he saw a shadow went past him. I wonder who it is…
Jeff took a heavy sigh as he spotted a mansion from a distance. He had a quick flashback from when his mother told him never to go near that horrifying mansion. But Jeff was so desperate. He had to find out more about it. He moved closer and closer. His heart pounded. A shadow zoomed past him. Jeff was more terrified then when a rat kept circling him in his bedroom and the time he saw a baby raccoon in his shed. Jeff took off and told his mum all about it. “I did warn you,” replied Jeff’s mom. “But beware there are lots of creepy things down there,”
Max took a huge step into the building as the door creaked shut. Max heard screaming and other crazy noises. His heart was pounding. His soul was about to come out of him. He ran for his life. Suddenly, the door creaked open. This was his chance to get out of the building but the door shut on his face and he couldn’t get out. Max went to the haunted house again and tried to get other old treasure but the door was all chained up. Max needed to get that door opened because he really was desperate to get all of the treasure so he can be rich. He decided to brake in with a chainsaw. Finally he got in and he realised a shadow went past him…
As Aaliyah and Mina took a deep breath, they tiptoed and tiptoed through the haunted house. Without warning, Aaliyah caught a glimpse of a weird shadow. They didn’t know what it was. They were not allowed to go there. They both saw a giant. It was too scary so they wanted to run away but the giant was chasing them away so now they were not safe. What will they do now?… The giant almost stepped on them. The giant tried to eat them because he was starving. He is a grumpy giant and he is mean.
Sumaiyah took a big deep breath as she looked at the spooky and scary building from miles away. She had a flashback from when her father told her never to go to that house. But Sumaiyah was so tempted. She had to find out more about it. She wanted to turn on the light but it was not working. There was with blood and skeletons. It was dirty and full of spiders. The door was making noisy sounds. She found a letter in a wardrobe that said, “Whoever stays in this house…DIES!”
Michael took a deep breath as he looked at the haunted building from a far distance. At that moment, he saw a strange shadow flicking the lights on and off. Michael remembered what his dad said. “Do not go to the haunted house.” He was tempted. He wanted to just run inside. He looked longingly at the abandoned old house. He started to walk forward not caring how dirty his clothes got as long as he got there.
Lily took a deep breath as she looked at the haunted school from in front of the door. Before she came out of her house, her mom told her not to go into that house. She wanted to go in the house but she had to go in to find out more. So she moved closer. And more closer. She rang the doorbell. Creak. The door opened. A white blur passed her and loads more did as well.
Amyma and Sidra were trick and treating for Halloween. Suddenly, they saw a haunted house which had cobwebs all over the porch. They were tempted to go in the haunted house. Sidra and Amyma saw a garden full of dead bodies lying around the grassy floor. All of a sudden, Amyma heard a loud BANG. They saw flowers that were dead. Suddenly, they heard an evil cackle. The gate creaked and Amyma screamed, “aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!” All of the dead bodies gathered together and turned into a huge witch. “wow that is scary,” said Sidra. “Yeah that is scary…RUN!” said Amyma as her heart pounded like a drum.
By: AMYMA AND SIDRA
THE POWER OF SUSPENSE
Chloe and Elle looked at the creepy nightmare house. They took some steps. Suddenly, a white soul peeped out. The windows creaked open. The gates close. The door opened. A ghost appeared. It came closer and closer. The girls’ hearts were pounding. They didn’t know what to do…
BY Humairaa and Rayeema
As Collin took his first few steps, he saw standing right in front of him was a haunted house it had a cemetery with a grave yard.Then he saw a blur. He thought there was a ghost so he had no choice but to adventure. There was no door so this couldn’t be an ordinary house. He went around the back. He looked at the sky, It was black his grandpa worried about him so he tried to call him on his i phone but it hung up. Collin was right inside the haunted house…
Junaid took a deep breath. Goose bumps ran down his back. His dad gave him a warning not to go past the abandoned house with spirits or go inside the house. He was tempted. His heart pounded. Just then, he caught a glimpse of a shadow. He thought to himself, should I explore this house or not. It was in the middle of the night and he was scared. There were dead bodies lying on the ground…
Michael took a heavy sigh as he looked at the abandoned property from a distance. He had a feeling and a flashback from when his grandfather told him that he was forbidden to go near that house. But Michael was so tempted he had to find out further information about it. He moved closer. His heart pounded like a drum. A shadow hastily zoomed past. Every time he took a step, the ground shook like it had an earthquake. He moved closer…
This dangerous creature with blade teeth (as sharp as bloody teeth) prowled the beautiful floor.Claws like blade flexed as the noisy beast scanned the horrible woodland – looking for it’s next meal.
This creepy creature with sharp teeth(as sharp as a blade) scratched the muddy floor. Claws like blades(a sharp blade) flexed as the silent beast scanned the peaceful jungle.
This dangerous creature is as gloomy as a bleak cave.
This creepy creature is as sneaky as a hunted rat.
It has Sharp teeth like a knife.
This creature got colourful wings. This is have a pointy nose like a shark. This dangerous creature pointy teeth. he zoomed through the his nione like pointy. The dragons fearless body zoomed through dark cave.
As dark as the night sky the viper wolf leaped up in the air and grabbed it’s prey. His gigantic body was as wrinkled as a old ladys face. Claws like daggers flexed as the silent beast scanned the peaceful woodland-looking for his next meal. The deadly creature with blood stained teeth as sharp as a vipers fangs prowled colored grass. The vibrant floor.
This evil creature is cold hearted. His eyes are white as milk,His skin is ruf as a road, His teeth are sharp like a pin. His feet look like frogs foot, He was looking for his pray in the deep dark forest and his tail is long as a stik.
This friendly creature with blood-thirsty teeth that could shred triceratops armour into smithereens,its teeth are as sharp as an eagle’s talons and it walks on the vibrate floor in New Zealand! There claws like daggers flexed the flying outraged beast scans the peaceful forest for its scrumdiddlyumptious prey. Its huge wings the size of Queen Elizabeth ll‘s palace. It flaps its wings as fast as a soar falcon’s speed! Its elaborate patterns on its belly will hypnotize you for days. Its razor claws as sharp as a megalodon’s tooth!
this gloomy creature is as dark as a green forest.
he is as black as the midnight sky.
it is as strong as a wrestler.
It is as sharp as a razor.
he is as gloomy as a green forest.
it is as colourful as a rainbow.
This ferocious creature with blood thirsty teeth(as sharp as a razor prowled the muddy , old floor. Claws like gigantic icicles sharp as a goblin’s nose. He is looking for his prey peacefully in the emerald green jungle.
This endangered animal has camouflaged scales as sharp as blades. He likes creeping up
to things like human beings.People that live close to those creatures are incredibly in danger(DEAD!!) This is because they can smell human beings from over one million miles away.There homes are in between the rocky ,mountains.
The deadly creature . With huge claws and massive teeth. The creature is the dangerous animals in the world. The teeth is like shark. he was staring at the scary animals he was hunting. some animals he was strange he was like the scary animals .his claws was sharp as a dinosaur.
This colossal creatures ‘teeth are as sharp as a razor.Its blood stained teeth resemble that it has just eaten meat from another animals body.It is now keeping its eye out for its second portion of food.This animals skin is as rough as a Turtles shell.when may get a chance to touch its skin you will 100% say that its hard and rough as concrete.
The Great Leonoptryx
This friendly creature [with red wings as red as a phionix.] The leonoptryx flies across the light blue sky.While he tried to catch his prey with his magical beady eyes. And when he landed he would stomp and swing his tail.He was looking for his prey .His claws are as sharp as a razer .It’s claws are long like a penguen’s wing’s .
BY : Amyma and Rayeema
This dangerous creature with sharp teeth stomped in the grass. And roared at a person with his massive mouth.He hides in the crumbled leaves. And jumped around very high, he even reached to the moon. And he looks like a sneaky mole his whiskers are as sharp as thin needles. And his body is as dark as montgomery uniform. He is as jumpy as a frog. He is as blue as a blueberry. As spiky as a hedgehog. He is as ugly as a witch. He is as huge as an elephant. His face is as scary as a lion.
This destructive beast with gold plated and blood stained teeth is As sharp as barbed wire,prowled along the horizon.
This hasty creature with bulky legs like a dinosaur is As fast as a lightning bolt it could go up to 155mph.
Claws like barbed wire flexed as the silent beast scanned the tranquil woodland looking for its next meal.