Tag Archives: Suspense

Suspense Writing

We have been working on suspense in our writing by using short sentences, repetition, empty words and a lot of dramatic vocabulary.

First we analysed how other authors use these features in their writing.

Now we are going to give it a try ourselves about this haunted house.

hamza an zak

As Hamza took a glimpse of a haunted house, he got scared like someone gave him an electric shot. His heart was pounding like a drum. When he got closer he was so  frightened. When he got even closer, he saw a shadow went past him. I wonder who it is…

Jeff and the hidden treasures from Haaris

Jeff took a heavy sigh as he spotted a mansion from a distance. He had a quick flashback from when his mother told him never to go near that horrifying mansion. But Jeff was so desperate. He had to find out more about it. He moved closer and closer. His heart pounded. A shadow zoomed past him. Jeff was more terrified then when a rat kept circling him in his bedroom and the time he saw a baby raccoon in his shed. Jeff took off and told his mum all about it. “I did warn you,” replied Jeff’s mom. “But beware there are lots of creepy things down there,”

haunted house zidane and Maheen

Max took a huge step into the building as the door creaked shut. Max heard screaming and other crazy noises. His heart was pounding. His soul was about to come out of him. He ran for his life. Suddenly, the door creaked open. This was his chance to get out of the building but the door shut on his face and he couldn’t get out. Max went to the haunted house again and tried to get other old treasure but the door was all chained up. Max needed to get that door opened because he really was desperate to get all of the treasure so he can be rich. He decided to brake in with a chainsaw. Finally he got in and he realised a shadow went past him… 

Aaliyah and Mina

As Aaliyah and Mina took a deep breath, they tiptoed and tiptoed through the haunted house. Without warning, Aaliyah caught a glimpse of a weird shadow. They didn’t know what it was. They were not allowed to go there. They both saw a giant. It was too scary so they wanted to run away but the giant was chasing them away so now they were not safe. What will they do now?… The giant almost stepped on them. The giant tried to eat them because he was starving. He is a grumpy giant and he is mean.

Laybah and Sahnaz

Sumaiyah took a big deep breath as she looked at the spooky and scary building from miles away. She had a flashback from when her father told her never to go to that house. But Sumaiyah was so tempted. She had to find out more about it. She wanted to turn on the light but it was not working. There was with blood and skeletons. It was dirty and full of spiders. The door was making noisy sounds. She found a letter in a wardrobe that said, “Whoever stays in this house…DIES!”


The haunted house by Abdul and Luqmaan

Michael took a deep breath as he looked at the haunted building from a far distance. At that moment, he saw a strange shadow flicking the lights on and off. Michael remembered what his dad said. “Do not go to the haunted house.” He was tempted. He wanted to just run inside. He looked longingly at the abandoned old house. He started to walk forward not caring how dirty his clothes got as long as he got there. 

Sana and lewin

Lily took a deep breath as she looked at the haunted school from in front of the door. Before she came out of her house, her mom told her not to go into that house. She wanted to go in the house but she had to go in to find out more. So she moved closer. And more closer. She rang the doorbell.  Creak. The door opened. A white blur passed her and loads more did as well.

The house of spirits by Seyf and Hashim

Ali took a deep breath as he walked past the abandoned house of spirits. As he took a long stare at the creepy house, it reminded him of his father clearly saying, “Stay away from that haunted house you know people have been missing there.” In one way he wanted to go to that house because everyone will think he’s boss. In another way he doesn’t want to disobey his parents. So he just took a few steps. Every step made his heart pound more and more.

                                                                 made up by seyf and hashim

Saad and Sabrina Haunted house description

As Sophie and her Horrible brother Rodrick were getting closer and closer to the haunted house gate, they were getting scared that they might just faint here. “Ladies first,” Rodrick stated. 

“Your just a scaredy cat. I thought you’re a bully in school” Sophie taunted.

“You take those words back or you’ll  be sorry you were born,” Rodrick taunted back. They didn’t even realise that they had already arrived at the gate. Rodrick just pushed a button and he got an electric shock in return. Sophie went to save him but she tripped over a branch and got her knee scraped on a very big pebble. She started to bleed.



Amyma and Sidra

Amyma and Sidra were trick and treating for Halloween. Suddenly, they saw a haunted house which had cobwebs all over the porch. They were tempted to go in the haunted house. Sidra and Amyma saw a garden full of dead bodies lying around the grassy floor. All of a sudden, Amyma heard a loud BANG. They saw flowers that were dead. Suddenly, they heard an evil cackle. The gate creaked and Amyma screamed,  “aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!” All of the dead bodies gathered together and turned into a huge witch. “wow that is scary,” said Sidra. “Yeah that is scary…RUN!” said Amyma as her heart pounded like a drum. 


The power of suspense by:Rayeema and Humairaa


Chloe and Elle looked at the creepy nightmare house. They took some steps.  Suddenly, a white soul peeped out. The windows creaked open. The gates close. The door opened. A ghost appeared.  It came closer and closer. The girls’ hearts were pounding. They didn’t know what to do…

BY Humairaa and Rayeema

the haunted house by hasnain and Govindrai

As Collin took his first few steps, he saw standing right in front of him was a haunted house it had a cemetery with a grave yard.Then he saw a blur. He thought there was a ghost so he had no choice but to adventure. There was no door so this couldn’t  be an ordinary house. He went around the back. He looked at the sky, It was black his grandpa worried about him so he tried to call him on his i phone but it hung up.  Collin was right inside the haunted house…

Muhammeds and Junaids suspenese paragraph

Junaid took a deep breath. Goose bumps ran down his back. His dad gave him a warning not to go past the abandoned house with spirits or go inside the house. He was tempted. His heart pounded. Just then,  he caught a glimpse of a shadow. He thought to himself, should I explore this house or not. It was in the middle of the night and he was scared. There were dead bodies lying on the ground…

Michael and the abandoned property by Usman and Haaris

Michael took a heavy sigh as he looked at the abandoned property from a distance. He had a feeling and a flashback from when his grandfather told him that he was forbidden to go near that house. But Michael was so tempted he had to find out further information about it. He moved closer. His heart pounded like a drum. A shadow hastily zoomed past. Every time he took a step, the ground shook like it had an earthquake. He moved closer…